The Process of Greatness: Lessons in Golf and Life with Virgil Herring

In this episode of the Happy Wealthy Show, the host interviews Virgil Herring, a PGA teaching professional and entrepreneurial expert in mindset coaching. They discuss the integral role of overcoming challenges and the importance of maintaining a growth mindset in achieving success. Herring shares insights from his extensive experience coaching elite athletes, including PGA TOUR winners and national champions. Key themes include the significance of internal processes, the impact of visualization, and the steps to cultivate resilience and adaptability. The conversation also delves into personal anecdotes illustrating the power of attitude, emotional regulation, and the pursuit of continuous improvement. Virgil's ultimate takeaway emphasizes the importance of balancing professional aspirations with personal values, especially through his experience as a dedicated father.

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Transcript

Happy Wealthy Show Virgil Herring
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Virgil Herring: All accomplishments occur while overcoming struggle. The best way for me to picture this is if you're playing for the national championship of tic tac toe, against a two year old and you destroy the two year old 10 to zero. Do you feel accomplished? The answer is no. It is the challenge in front of you that makes the championship feel so good because you've embraced a challenge definitely worthy of a task well chased. 

Neal Neo Phalora: Welcome to the Happy Wealthy Show. Today we have Virgil Herring. I met Virgil at a dinner together, and I overheard him talking about mindset in a way that very few people talk, that I feel like I have some fumes of as well, and it drew me into the conversation in a way. I started to learn that this guy is at the next level.

He has done things people would dream of. He's been in the PGA circuit for some time, coached national champions, been on multiple media network outlets. Virgil, I'd like to welcome you to the show and let's just start by telling the audience 90 seconds about who Virgil Herring is?

Virgil Herring: Mainly recognized as a PGA teaching professional. I have coached PGA TOUR winners, over 250 kids to the golf scholarships, many national champions. I'm an entrepreneur. I have two podcasts, three best selling books, I'm a public speaker, a TED talker. I got a lot of irons in the fire, including credit card processing, so I got my fingers in a bunch of things.

I love to help people get from one place to, and I call myself a vessel. They come to see me for help in a variety of ways. Most of the time it has to do with golf and I'm a vessel to get them from one place to another. Usually it's between their ears or underneath the hood that makes all the difference.

Neal Neo Phalora: Wow. that's the thing about this idea of success is we always make it a very external game. If I can just do all these things that look like success, if I could go after external actions, the time and time again, people say, Hey, it's between your ears.

How do you get people present with that fact? Because I feel a lot of people have resistance. They want to do everything else but work on that internal game. 

Virgil Herring: That's a loaded question because at the end of the day, most people recognize there's some degree of mental peace, but everybody wants to default to a physical limitation they can tidy up with a bit of coaching and it won't be mental after that. In my profession, that is something I'm riddled with because there are many golf instructors who believe once the swing is right where they want it to be, they have the confidence, they don't need the mental coaching. I strongly disagree with that because I believe personally, one of the bigger challenges we face is especially in my sport, I just use my sport because it's an easy picture to paint. I have a lot of kids who want to be college golfers and maybe play on tv one day they think for them to get the scholarship they want, they have to win golf tournaments. Their only focus is winning golf tournaments. I tell them a story of David Duvall, who became the number one player in the world. He's the only person to dethrone Tiger Woods as the number one player in Tigers Prime twice. His whole life journey was to be the number one player in the world and win a major championship. And when he did that in 2001, he beat Tiger Woods.

He did it in amazing flair. On top of all of that, when he accomplished his goals, he couldn't have been happier. And when he woke up the next morning, he was extremely devastated to find out he was still David Duvall. He wasn't a different person. What he learned was he sacrificed a lot of relationships and a lot of important things in his life because he didn't chase a process. He chased an external goal. And once he got there, he was still David Duvall with a trophy. He wasn't any better. He wasn't anointed king. He wasn't given anything different. He was now just the open champion and the number one ranked golfer in the world. Once he achieved it, it felt hollow because he was not following a process.

He was chasing a trophy. When you tell it like that then what's different now? If you give your best in the process and you don't win, you couldn't have done better anyway. That allows me to be in this position of I want to shake the hand of the person that beats me, not have to look in the mirror to see the person that beat me.

And more times than not, not following a process allows you to beat yourself instead of making somebody else's process be better than yours. 

Neal Neo Phalora: That's really good. I see that recurring theme with the people that I coach as well. Over and over, they're chasing something external. I don't know how many damn successful people we have to meet to understand the thing is never going to make you feel that way. Sitting kneecap to kneecap with Tom, Bilyeu you, one time I asked him about this quote. Tom, you mentioned in your podcast, the most important thing is how you feel about yourself when you're by yourself. He got the 400 million. He got the cash for his quest nutrition, but all of his challenges, all his issues, all of his personality were still there. I see this even in people who have big exits in companies, they actually go into a state of grief. I've worked with athletes after they come out of their syndrome of winning, they go into a period where it's a deep identity crisis. You talk about this process, drop some knowledge for us. How do we curate this process? How do you work with people for this process? I think this is a really important thing for people who are listening. 

Virgil Herring: When I did my Ted talk, I did a very specific Ted talk on the process of greatness that I use, and in my opinion, it starts here.

It's growth mindset that starts with how you perceive where you're going. Do you feel like you're have the ability to learn and grow as you're chasing this, or do you feel like the destination is already predetermined? If you feel like it's already predetermined, it's over. We have to understand we have to embrace the challenge.

What does that mean? All accomplishments occur while overcoming struggle. The best way for me to picture this is if you're playing for the national championship of tic tac toe, against a two year old and you destroy the two year old 10 to zero. Do you feel accomplished? The answer is no. It is the challenge in front of you that makes the championship feel so good because you've embraced a challenge definitely worthy of a task well chased.

There's the next phase, which is where I think the first time the rubber meets the road, do you take action? There are so many armchair quarterbacks out there that say I'm willing to learn. I can grow and I'm not afraid to take on a challenge, but they never get off the sofa. So now you've growth mindset, embrace challenge, take action, and now you have to be accountable now that you've decided to take action, you got to do the right things, act in integrity, act in honesty and be true to yourself while also doing everything you can within this process to give everything you have so that there's no stone left unturned. My acronym is get a pair. What's the fruit you reap when you follow a championship process?

You get a pair. But if you don't get a pair soon, there'll be no fruit to reap at all. So get a is the foundation. The fruit is pair. P is preparation. Are you willing to prepare to win. Everybody wants to win. Are you willing to do what it's required to prepare to win? In the preparation phase, whatever it is we're talking about, whatever profession we're talking about, you're gathering data, gathering information, strategizing your best way to get to the top getting ready to implement multiple strategies because more than likely the very first one is not always going to go perfect.

The second E is execution. Now that you've got the plan, you got to execute it at the end of the day that's where the beginning of the rubber meeting the road in performance goes is how what happens when you go into execution? Most of the time execution fails when your first plan doesn't go anywhere near you thought it was gonna go.

What does that mean? The A is adaptability. You have to prepare so well there is more than one way for you to succeed. You have more than one skill set that can allow you to dominate in your endeavor. The R is resilient, relentlessness. There's nothing that's going to back you off of this process because this process loops and it just keeps going in a circle.

That is the boring part that ends most people. They're not willing to be consistent in the process because they want it to be over at the R. 

Neal Neo Phalora: Let's talk about that. Ooh, you said some cool stuff there. Let's talk about that, because what I observe in a lot of people is they confuse the familiar for what's fulfilling, right?

Most people don't fundamentally know how to stay uncomfortable longer than most other people. When you talked about being Relentlessly resilient, and you talked about the boring. This is a huge thing I see, and I'd love your opinion on this as well, is we always celebrate when somebody's beginning, right?

It's like, oh, wow, you're on this new endeavor, and we celebrate the end, but what the fuck about the middle portion, that dirty middle. I tell my kids this all the time. I'm like, you want to be great. Mastery is boring as hell. It's boring. I've never heard relentless resilience. That is tremendous. We don't glorify boringness because nobody wants to talk about that. People just want the, they want the PDF, they want the biohack, they want the one weekend shift in their personality, all which is BS.

It's that relentless resilience that keeps you doing the boring stuff over and over again. And that adaptability to go, you're right. You know what? If you have a goal, guess what? Most of the stuff you're going to try is not going to work. How do we get into motion around that?

How do we embrace that?

Virgil Herring: At the end of the day, how bad do you want it? How hungry are you? The people who get to the top are the hungriest. And at the end of the day, it's a combination of, you know, one of my favorite lines is, And in 1986 when Mike Tyson fought Trevor Burbick to unify the heavyweight title, they had the press conference and they interviewed the champion first and Trevor Burbick was out there and he goes, I got a game plan to knock Mike Tyson out in the fifth round.

And he went on elaborate to talk about how he was going to do that. So Mike Tyson comes out for his part of the press conference. And he said, yo, Mike, Trevor was just in here talking about how he's got a game plan to knock you out in the fifth round. What do you got to say about that? And he's like everybody's got a game plan and Mike Tyson punches them in the face. And I'm like, that's exactly right. A lot of the things we're going to face, the challenges we're going to face on the way to greatness are going to feel like we're fighting Mike Tyson in 1986. How well are you going to be resilient to take the punches?

To know that there are more people pulling on your feet to make sure you don't get there, than people reaching down to pick you up. That's one of the things that throws people off is they think a lot of people are going to want them to succeed. That's one of the biggest lies of all time is the closer you get to the top of the pyramid, the more feet you find on your head and the less hands you feel reaching down to help get you up.

And that's what breaks people's heart. That's what breaks their will because they thought it was going to be easier than this, and there is no way you get to the top of the pyramid. The top of Mount Everest easy because there's no helicopter ride to the top. 

Neal Neo Phalora: I know you've gone deep on this you have results to prove it but I'm gonna challenge you a little bit push a little bit because What I find is this vernacular just do it does it work for most people. A lot of people have a lot more potential, but people need more definable, digestible steps than, hey, just do it. I know you have tapped into something on mindset that gets people over fears, over the limitations, over getting out of the creative flow that they're in.

What are some more definable, digestible steps to get ourselves to that place? Because so many people want to play, but I don't think it's just a matter of. hunger for some people. There are some other blocks. 

Virgil Herring: Yeah. I call it the three C's. One, if this is the first time I've met somebody and I don't know anything about them the first thing I have to do is check their competency.

Where are you now compared to where you're trying to be? If I have something to offer that can elevate their competency, that's helpful. What are we going to do after our competency is up? Our confidence is now high. We're trying to understand we've gotten better. We feel good about where we're going.

Now we have to test it. We're going to compete in whatever we're talking about. This is the take action phase. We've educated ourself. We're getting better. We're going to test it. Now that we've tested it, we assess. Where are we? I didn't get the person's business, I didn't score the way I wanted to score, I didn't land the account. Okay, increase our confidence, which increases our confidence. which allows us to get back in the ring. How do we do? We got 20 percent of the business we wanted. Why didn't we get the 80? Let's assess it. Increase our competency, which increases our confidence.

Boom. Now we get 60%. Once again, that goes back to the resiliency and the relentlessness of it. At the end of the day, my job is to then show them where you want to get starts with your level of competency compared to your competition. If you don't have any confidence you could do it, there's no reason to step in the arena.

We got to elevate your confidence. Once your confidence is ready to be vulnerable enough to compete and lose, let's dig it out of the dirt. Let's see what happens. Let's assess what happened. Oh, man, I got to get better at this and this. Tidy that up, get some coaching, do what you got to do. I'm feeling more confident than ever. Get back in the game. What happened? Ah, way better. What do we got to do better than that? Boom, boom, boom. It's a cycle. My three C's. Competence, confidence, and competition or competing, and then it re recycles itself.

Neal Neo Phalora: You've been inside the head of a lot of championship elite people. If somebody is listening to this podcast, they're obviously not going to be a pro golfer, what are some things you feel can take somebody from where they're at right now and move them forward?

Virgil Herring: Attitude is one thing. Okay, so a quick story. I was very fortunate to coach Brant Snedeker, who ultimately ascended to number six in the world in professional golf. I played in a lot of golf tournaments with him. I noticed he was wired differently than me mentally. We were playing in one of our biggest tournaments that we played in.

On the second day, he showed up with literally 30 seconds to spare. We were disqualified. He showed up late. He went out partying. This is when he was in college. He went out partying. showed up a little hungover, not in his best shape. So off the first tee we both hit it right into the trees. This is what let me know why he was going to be a superstar and why I ended up coaching the game.

I'm over there angry at him for nearly getting me disqualified and we were winning and he goes, coach, what are you thinking about doing? And I'm so mad. I'm so emotional about it that I'm not thinking clear. And I said, I don't know, Snedeker right now. I'm so angry. I can't even think straight. I think I'm going to hit seven iron over these trees.

What are you going to do? Because here's what I'm going to do, coach. I'm going to chip a seven iron out underneath these trees, right in front of the green, and then I'm going to chip it in for birdie and we're going to roll these fools before they even get started because they think they got us down and we're going to kill them.

I'm like, that is what you're thinking right now. He looked at me stone cold killer. He said, yeah, what are you thinking? And I was like, no matter how dire the situation, Brant brought it down to a level of, I can get out of this situation victorious because I have so many skill sets that are past how well somebody thinks I hit the ball. He's one step ahead mentally.

He actually did that. He chipped the 700 out in front of the green, chipped it in. He winked at me, laughed. The two players that were the closest to us both missed their easy putts because it rattled them. We ended up winning by 15. He predicted it before it happened. He goes, I will it.

I'm like, wow. So the attitude, I don't think like that. So I learned to think better that way because he showed me clearly my mindset is flawed because I get emotional. And anytime you get emotional, almost always bad decisions follow. 

Neal Neo Phalora: I really liked this example because I saw Conor McGregor in the press conference, he was saying, Oh, I see this guy's, right hand is twitching.

When he ended the fight, they're like how did you know he were going to draw him out like that? He goes, I predetermined it. He said, I ran it through in my head. And I can see it before, you didn't say the words, but the subtext was, I drew myself out of the frame and could see everything without getting emotionally involved.

Our emotions are really important to create a certain frequency. We have to know how to use them and work with them, not ride the dragon's tail of them. I love this idea of mental rehearsal. I think so many people think, There's a reason every high performance athlete has a mental coach, right?

Because they're working through all aspects of the game in their head. So please continue.

Virgil Herring: To follow up on that statement, right? If, big if, if you're somebody who is trying to be great and you're trying your best to navigate the emotional situations that bring to this energy, if you can learn to harness The energy will allow you to create greater versions of yourself than without it.

Learning how to cope with the flood of hormones and adrenaline and chemicals that play a role in flow state start with being immersively present and the keys to being immersively present ultimately begin with how well did you visualize this event? Because in the mind, if it took experience to win nobody would have ever won. In a vividly imagined event is shown up in the brain exactly the same as the event itself. If you can vividly imagine yourself coming out on top and don't be foolish, make sure that you show the struggle this person is going to have the ability to counterpunch you to counteract your activities to win too. He's not trying to lose either. If you can visualize yourself weathering storms, you can visualize yourself coming out on top when things look bleak. You've already won. The most powerful shot in golf is not calling your shot. It's recalling it and learning how to create recall is essential because if you can see it, you've already done it.

Then all you have to do is access it again. And when I get that, that's not really difficult for me to get a golf lesson. It's a little bit more challenging when I'm dealing with somebody in a corporate setting trying to figure out how to get to the bottom line of their account, so to speak. It's a little bit different because that's their world, not mine.

At the end of the day, that is The challenge. Can you see it? Can you cover all of the things that are going to happen, create these visuals, and manifest it through your visualization? The more beautiful picture you paint, the more vivid the colors are, the more exact the outcome is. 

Neal Neo Phalora: Now you got me fired up, Virgil. This isn't what we ended up talking about at that dinner. Virgil is a maven for this stuff. He is tremendously masterful. And let's just play that back for what Virgil just said, which was a mic drop moment. The most powerful shot in golf is not calling your shot.

It's recalling. not that I needed the science because we've, we honestly, we've known about visualization, this kind of level of mind as a human species for about 10, 000 years. It's just taken us this long to actually catch up with what we've already known. When we talk about the brain, that's the brain. When we talk about the mind, we're talking about the body and the brain together. The body will recall things quicker and easier. So it's building that mental emotional construct in your body. We know by dose chemistry, dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, epinephrine, that you can dose yourself.

You can create the mental, emotional muscle. If athletes can sit and visualize lifting weights and build anywhere from eight to 15 percent more muscle mass by visualization, then what Virgil is talking about here, what he's an expert in is not only. Important. It is essential for you to win at anything.

He said something really important. I want you to hear him. he talked about building all of the senses, going through all the scenarios, feeling every bit of it, right? It's making it as real as possible. So now you opened up this Pandora's box, which I know that you are good at about the flow state.

Let's go a little deeper, Virgil. How do we actually do this? 

Virgil Herring: Okay, so you cannot access zone slash flow state. Now, zone state, we'll call it 9 out of 10 performance. Flow state is 10 out of 10 performance. Flow is deeper than zone. People can really tell the difference. When you can feel everything moving in slow motion, one of the greatest listeners, listen to Kelly Slater slaying an 80 foot wave.

Okay. Going about 53 miles per hour in a surfboard, and yet he feels like he feels every inch of the ride, and it's going super duper slow. It's not difficult at all. That is flow state. Keep in mind, there are six chemicals in the brain that are released to create flow state. Steven Kotler, who is the, now that, Mikai Chekset Mihai has passed away, Kotler is the king of flow state. And he clearly states that the more dangerous the endeavor, the easier it is to get tripped in the flow state.

Flow state is accessible to every human on the planet. There are 17 triggers and you have to be able to be open keyword. You have to be open to let the environment happen because we can't force it. How do you get there? Immersive presence. You cannot be in the past whining and complaining about a mistake you just made and you can't be in the forefront worrying about what might happen because we got something difficult right in front of us.

We got to be here right now. When we're here right now, that allows us to control our breathing, control our heart rate, and take care of what's important right now. If we don't take care of what's happening right now, Even the thing that we're worried about in front of us has now changed because our behavior prior to the action has altered that place.

We ended up worrying about something that's not even real in the first place. Focusing on being immersively present is critical. How and why the part of the brain concerned about keeping you safe physically, mentally and emotionally is the prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex can be trained to be shut off.

I have technology called focus band. Focus band is a band that's got EKG readings on the pads on the brain and it measures your brainwaves. I can train you into zone state through that by shutting it off. And once you have learned How to access that muscle. You can go there pretty quickly.

Now you've invited flow state to be possible. But zone state is trainable. Flow state happens because you've allowed the environment to be there. How do we shut off the prefrontal cortex? The easiest way at the beginning is to give it a task. One of the things I do is I get my players to count underneath their breath as they're going through their pre shot routine and the golf swing.

Seven, eight, nine, seven, eight, nine. And when they're doing that gives the prefrontal cortex a task. It's counting. It doesn't stop the subconscious mind from allowing you to access all of your muscle memory, all of the skills you've honed for this moment. And while you distracted the prefrontal cortex, you've distracted it by giving it a task.

It feels really important. I'm doing something important for my man here. I'm counting. You've now taken away any ability of the prefrontal cortex to infiltrate and interfere with the connection from where that's stored in the brain to the muscles. As soon as you learn how to train the zone muscle, you invite flow in.

It doesn't guarantee you're going to find it. It gives it the highest opportunity to show up.

Neal Neo Phalora: This is so good. This is so good. It reminds me of a couple of examples and I'd like you to comment on this. I experienced this flow very early in my life, very early.

It just came to me. I was sitting in a porch and I discovered this immersive experience being connected to anything, but not being attached to anything. I don't believe in luck. I tell my kids there's no such thing as luck, but there is beginners luck, I've seen this happen so many times.

And I experienced this. I was not a pool player. A girl I was dating one time in my life, and she was really good. She took me out, and gave me a lesson. Then I played her. I beat her after the lesson. I beat her. The next time I played, I couldn't make the shots.

I see this happen with young kids a lot. The first time they go through, they're amazing at what they do. And then the next time when the prefrontal cortex kicks in and the idea of, look, Oh, I might miss it. Oh, I might, I might look bad. Oh, am I doing it right? Because now they have enough experience to start recalling something, then their ability to play goes down. Does any of that stand any legs in your world? 

Virgil Herring: I would call that expectation problems. As soon as you've had immediate success, you begin to expect that's just how it's going to be. One of the things that happens in these first moments is no expectations, you're just flowing. You're immersively present because you don't even know the outcome. You don't have enough experience to do anything. You're just experiencing the now. When you beat your girlfriend at pool, she gave you a lesson and you were just following the instructions with no expectations. It became, like the matrix.

At the end of the day, the matrix is real. We already know how to do everything. We interfere with the access to it. You didn't have any interference, but what ends up happening is any amount of success gives you hope you can be really good at this. Having hope makes you chase more information so you can believe you can do this.

When you learn how to do something right, you believe you can do it, and you can win in the believe state. To know you will means you've learned. You've done it so much you can't do it wrong. There's a big difference between learning how to do it right and doing it so methodically and so well you can't do it wrong.

When you come out in the world from a no state, you're very dangerous. It doesn't guarantee victory, it means the only people that can beat you have worked better, harder and more than you. And that means you didn't lose. You learned, and that's how you take yourself to the next level when you compete and you have the right mindset and you have the right process.

The only time you either win or you learn, because when somebody beat you, you didn't beat yourself and somebody showing you the blueprint of the next level for yourself. Most people's ego and interference and expectations convolute the truth in the now and it completely distracts the now because of fear of failure which engages the prefrontal cortex which makes you try to perfect high speed motions and when you try to perfect high speed motions they get clunky and they don't work right and that's when you know you're choking and that's what I fix all day long is the expectation, interference and the variety of the recipe changes for every human, certain trauma, certain pain, certain fears. My job is to disassociate them from the interference because it's not real. It's imagined 99 percent of all of our fears never come true. They're just vividly imagined in our mind.

If you can get really good at remembering if 99 percent of the fear you bring on to yourself isn't real, you could use that energy to make 99 percent of your desires, create great visualizations so you're only spending time thinking about greatness instead of the fear of not achieving greatness and watch where that takes you.

Neal Neo Phalora: People who listen to the show know that I have the middle name Neo for a reason because the matrix is real and that's a deeper conversation. I'll be doing some solo episodes on some of this stuff. I see Virgil nodding his head because he understands it as well.

Again, we don't need signs for everything. Information has become the new religion. It's taken us away from what we're capable of knowing. I say to people all the time, how were the pyramids aligned within 1 degrees of the north, south, east, west? How did Einstein come to what he knows?

There were no cell phones. There are things written in text before the written word that sound like a Tony Robbins lecture on human behavior. I want to play back what he just said. He said, we already have access to everything we need. We're just interfering with that's a really big aha for those of you listening.

I just got like an amazing inspiration. I'm going to reword a little bit what you said here, Virgil, and you can feel free to put your stamp of approval on it. What if you could compete at such a high level that the people were doing better than you were showing you a blueprint to the next level of your greatness.

What if that was your goal? I'm going to compete at such a high level that anybody that beats me is going to be able to show me the next level of what's possible for me. What if you play the game of life from that vantage point instead of the victim mentality of life happening to me, for me, and through me in this way of I'm being guided by subsequent blueprints.

Virgil Herring: That would be the answer. That's the goal, right? We have to figure out what prevents people from allowing that to happen. Some people don't have the resources to fail for a long time in their minds. They feel this way. They don't feel like they have the resources to fail for a long time, to be okay with failing and learning lessons on the way to the top.

Even though that is a complete lie. Tell somebody having a hard time feeding their family. Tell somebody who can't afford a place to live. We have to keep everything into perspective. 

We're dealing with those things. There are certain traumas, circumstances that create fear, that interfere with that mindset.

But at the end of the day, if we can encourage them to take action and recognize that really about one in ten actually take action, will have some success they can build on. My job as a coach, recognizing a traumatic, challenged, difficult situation if I can encourage them and show them something they want I can get 'em to do it again, and I can get 'em to do it again. Little victories create big victories. That's where a coach is critical. If you understand not everybody's the same, you can get everybody going in the right direction, everybody has a different starting point. Your job as the coach is to recognize that. And what I say, you touch their heart before you reach for their hand.

If you can get people to know you care about them, you can ask for their hand to lead them. If you just reach for their hand they're too scared. You got to touch their heart before you reach for their hand. And I think if somebody said, Virgil, what's your superpower? It's not my knowledge. It's that I let people know how much I care that they go where they want to go. As soon as they know they can trust me because I do care, it's easy to ask for somebody's hand, but I always start with their heart first.

Neal Neo Phalora: We're listening to a guy who has competed at the highest level, who has seen people to national championships, who's done a lot of crazy, amazing things. He's saying the same thing over and over that I also feel very strongly about people who have the best quality of life, who have a true level of wealth, which is what the show is about. It is being connected to people. He said, reach for their heart before their hand. That's how all business is won. That's how relationships won. That's how life is won. That's how the best quality of life is won. At the end of the day, we are here for the experience. We're a big bag of emotions. Even if we buy something, we buy on emotion, we justify, but it's learning how to harness that.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate that. That's a great way to bring the show to a close, that's an amazing piece of advice. Before I let everybody here know how they should stay in touch with you, and they should, because there's a lot of things to learn from Virgil Hering, I like to ask a couple just off the cuff questions.

And one is I like to ask is, if you had 90 seconds to tell 19 year old Virgil something, what would you tell him? 

Virgil Herring: I can see you have big dreams son, but you got to know there are going to be some tremendous struggles that are going to test your will.

Because God will want to test your commitment to greatness, because he won't let you achieve it easy. And whoever your God, I'm not the biggest believer that there is this God over that God. Whoever is the person you visualize as the thing that draws your spirit out. Whatever that God gave you that you're not using is a slap in the face to the God that gave it to you, but it is not going to be easy because everybody wants to get to the top, but not many people want to work to get there.

Of all the things I have garnered in my life is I thought that with talent, coaching and information alone, it was going to be a straight shot when I was 19. Little did I know the greatest and I have experienced tremendous pain in my life, a tremendous amount of personal loss in my life that I would have never guessed that those heartbreaking, devastating, crushing moments were essential for me to get to the next step of my greatness. I would have never believed that at 19, but now at 50, I'm saying, son, they are the key stepping stones to greatness. Mask in pain. 

Neal Neo Phalora: Wow. Wow., I hope people rewind and listen to that. That is amazing. My friend, that is amazing. We do not understand these things happening to our lives are galvanizing us to the next level of power and contribution.

One more question what is probably a win for you that you don't discuss? Some win in your life that's personal, maybe not so public, something that you cherish as a win that might be a little unexpected or out of the limelight of all the things that Virgil here did.

In 2008,

Virgil Herring: My second son was born and to keep what mostly is private, there were some things going on that I needed to be at home and not be on the PGA tour. I gave up coaching on the PGA tour, partly because I didn't enjoy it that much, but I wanted to be a great dad more than I needed to be a great coach.

And now at age 18 and age 16, I am still the hero of my sons and the greatest gift that I've ever gotten was on Father's Day of how important and what my presence and my son's life's mean is more important than any tour victory. More important than any award I've ever won, more important than any TV show that I've ever starred, more than anything that I've ever done because my sons are watching me so intently, and I live my life to be a model, not because I think I'm perfect, but every time I'm doing something in my life, I'm saying to myself, my sons are watching.

What I do this knowing that is my ultimate championship trophy are my two sons and the fact that I've been able to be a father and not be their friend, be their father, but do so in a way they look up to me more than they look up to anything. At age 18 and 16, that's pretty hard to do.

It is my greatest feeling and greatest accomplishment as a person at this particular point. 

Neal Neo Phalora: As a father of nine year old twins, I have a son and a daughter. You got me emotional, man. I feel the same way kids own what they're shown and you are outstanding father.

Definitely somebody I would hang out with. So, to the end. Let the audience know if they want to Find you, to understand what you do, to get in contact with you How do they make that happen.

Virgil Herring: The best way to contact me? I'm a big person to person talker So you can contact me via my cell phone six one five five seven nine five one nine zero I also understand there may be people out there that don't like calling So my email address is virgilherring1 at icloud. com and my social media the best place to find You If you think that I'd be good for you and what it is that I could provide Is Virgil dot herring on instagram. I have all of my content my coaching content my golf teaching content My built my business branding How I incorporate coach, all of those things are found on my Instagram page.

Hopefully if you find my information could help you, I know I can be a vessel to help you get from one place to another.

Neal Neo Phalora: Amazing brother. This has been so good. I always Mark the quality of any show that I do with the fact that I leave with something as a better person. And you definitely left me that way.

I encourage people to reach out. The conversations I've had with Virgil every time I felt up leveled. To conclude us out, thank you for being on the show, Virgil. Appreciate you. And remember that the best part of being wealthy is being happy.

Thank you for appearing on the happy wealthy show.

Virgil Herring: It's been an honor to be here, Neo. It's so great to be on your show. I look forward to doing anything I can to help you in the future.